From the Archives

Captain Morgan’s Wife

**From the Archives: 2010**

I opened my eyes, took a deep breathe, felt peaceful, and watched seagulls loud, screeching, flying about, and as I am a little bit disoriented, I could not decide for the life of me if the half-destroyed, ancient fort to my left was operating or people just liked to go inside for a good game of hide-and-seek, or just to mess with the cannons overlooking the big expanse of beautiful, reflective water.

It was nice to feel the ocean breeze and the humidity pumping up my hair at least three inches taller and curlier.

I just did not understand. I was so confused. I kept seeing pirates walking around, all females, though. Where are the male pirates? Jack Sparrow? I have read about pirates and…how they kill, seen movies about pirates…and how they kill, and… now, I am seeing female pirates and wonder, maybe they are like complete opposite–very sweet?

So, one of the girl pirates confronted me, wearing a red-striped shirt, with a black corset, black pants, tall boots, and of course, the item that holds all pirateshipness (yes, I made up that word) together, the epic pirate hat. Her hat had a feather, it was quite nice.

She asked me a question, and I was still in a gaze. So she asked me in English again, then Spanish. And then, I was like “oh, ya, ya, ya, ummm I’m ok!”

She had a gorgeous smile and to-kill-for bronze skin, She was so sweet and gestures over another female pirate. I overheard her saying “Hi, I’m Captain Morgan’s wife” to a few people about 5 meters away before coming my way. Then again, she gestured to another female pirate–who apparently was also Captain Morgan’s wife!

So, I was guessing the pirate who woke me up had to be one of Captain Morgan’s wives, as well? I was just thinking “whatever” let me enjoy the sun…

Then, that’s when I remembered I did not just wash up on this beach by myself…

Where were my brothers?

Why would they leave me?

I literally haven’t left the same spot for… hour! ugh, and of course…no phone reception in Panama.

Two tips of advice:

  1. Don’t fall asleep on a random bench in Panama because you will be awakened by Captain Morgan’s wife…and…your family will leave you.
  2. Traveling with me can be extremely dangerous or extremely adventurous…you pick.

Photo: Panama 2010, having my food stolen by this adorable monkey…

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