Recently, I heard on the radio a quite funny story about a girl who jumped onto the tracks of the New York City subway to retrieve her cell phone that she dropped in a clumsy moment…I thought to myself as I was stuck in traffic, how ridiculous and funny! Then I remembered, who am I to say ridiculous when I’ve done not one, but a million ridiculous moments with my beloved iphone.
The most recent tragedy of embarrassment, well not for me, but for my family, was at the airport in Vienna, Austria. I went to the ladies room before boarding the plane because God knows how horrendous it is to be in that tiny box called a toilet, bouncing up and down in the plane.
Anyway, I set down my tote, but of course, my phone is safely put away in the safest place, my hand. Sorry if this is TMI, but as I start flushing the toilet, my hip had bumped the corner of the toilet paper box and there goes my phone flying into the waves of the toilet. I cannot believe how my first instinct was to just reach down to grab it, and as the flush was a strong force, I found myself fighting for my phone from being sucked into the toilet’s sucking pipes and roaring waves…dramatic, I know…and gross.
Because I was so smart, I thought to myself, yes!… I saved my phone. Of course, this bright young lady, myself, forgot that…well…water stabs electronic devices in the heart…and as my phone was literally swimming in a torment of toilet water, no amount of rice was going to heal this phone; yet, there I am rushing out of the stall and holding my sacred phone under the most modern hand dryer. I know all the German spoken amongst the women, watching me jump out from the stall and yelling at myself, were commentating about my amazing smartness. I actually remember a little girl making eye contact at me for like ten seconds…awkward. I’m sure her mother told her “stay away from crazy people like her,” but again, I don’t speak German, so maybe she was commenting on my Antonio Melani wedges. **I’m sorry, America, for being a bad ambassador that day.**
As I’m walking out the bathroom, my brother is waiting right outside and simply asks, “now what happened?” Of course, that’s always the question when you’re right outside a women’s bathroom and hear “Crap! Oh my gosh! Why!?”
I so wanted to snapchat, text, and instagram stalk my friends before boarding…and I guess magic happened…because one year later…my phone was still working perfectly fine…
And, do not worry, I lysoled, cloroxed, and prayed all the germs and grossness were off my amazing phone.
Maybe, my iphone had some Nokia genes in it or something…
Or…as Joey on “Friends” puts it as Rosita, the chair, dies…if you are pure and you’re heart is set on something, miracles can happen…like my phone.